修行‧不同的High
Spiritual
practices, another kind of high
Shakti‧二十三歲‧美國
Shakti, 23, USA
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Shakti擁有帶西方感的亞洲面孔。Shakti has a Western and Asian mix profile.
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二十三歲的美日混血兒Shakti相信最能成為這裡年青人之代表。我與她相處了一些時間，好讓我能更了解這裡年青人心裡以及在他們生活的世界裡的感受、他們的希望及期望。
Shakti, is a half
-American, half -Japanese 23 years old young lady, who quite represents the
young visitors in the ashram. Here is a
little time spent with her, understanding what young visitors are feeling; what
their hopes and aspirations are, both from within themselves and the world they
live in.
時正下午四時多，Shakti剛排隊取過了由ashram提供的免費印度奶茶，Chai，便與我坐在西餐廳外，與可愛的Ashram牛兒吃草地方接近的座位上。一直也覺得這個女孩有著一股如天使般清純的氣質，加上她那亞洲卻帶點西方感覺的面孔，便早已引起了我的注意。如不是藉著是次做訪問，相信也不會無端與她這樣詳談。
It was four in the
afternoon, Shakti had just queued for the free Indian tea, chai, provided by
the ashram and sat with me in an area outside of the Western canteen. There was grass around and the sweet ashram
cows were grazing. Since long had I been
paying attention to this girl. Her mixed
heritage features did seem interesting, but more so her angel-like feeling
of purity. If it were not for this
interview, I never thought I would be chatting with her so deeply.
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Ashram裡每天均會免費供應印度奶茶，Chai。Free Indian mike tea, Chai is provided for free
in the ashram everyday.
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這麼年青便待在印度Ashram裡，確實令我好生好奇。「我父母於二十六年前便於美國加洲，在Amma進行美國巡迴擁抱團時認識Amma。」她續說：「當時我父母一直也很想生一個小孩，可就是不成功。於是他們便向Amma『求助』。在獲得Amma的祝福後，我便於兩年後出生。」
Seeing her staying
in the ashram at such a young age really aroused my curiosity. ‘My parents came to know Amma when Amma was
doing the US hugging tour in California 26 years ago.’ Shakti said. ‘At that time, my parents were
desperate to have a child, but they failed.
So they turned to Amma for help. After
receiving her blessing, I was born two years later.’
縱然Shakti在美國土生土長，可是她卻有別於一般美國年青人。與她在一起時，我感覺到一股十分安靜、和平及恩典感。總是笑容滿面的她，喝了一口Chai，對我微微笑著，續說：「我們住在Amma美國加洲的Ashram，San Ramon附近，故從少到大，我也在Amma所散發的愛的氛圍中成長。而Ashram裡的訪客，也都成了我的兄弟姐妹，所以無論我往哪一個方向看，也總有一個模範可讓我跟從。」她頓一頓後說：「這正是現今社會缺少的──一個可讓年青人參考的模範。」
Although she was
born and raised in the US, she was apparently different from most of
the American youngsters. Spending time
with her I got a feeling of calm, peace and of grace. She was also ever smiling. Taking a sip of her chai she smilingly
told me, ‘we live very close to the Amma’s ashram in San Ramon,
California, so I grew up in a loving ambience surrounded by spiritually-minded
community. They are like my brothers and sisters. Wherever I look for support, there is a role
model for me to follow.’ She paused and then said, ‘This is exactly what modern
society lacks of – a role model for young people.’
當年二十出頭，剛畢業的我，對世界事情十分無知，也不知道自己的人生意義何在。相反，在多年出入這些靈性社區下，剛從英文文學系畢業的Shakti卻早已知道應如何過自己的理想人生：「美國身邊的大學同學正專心開展事業，我則把心思放在如何幫助更多人和貢獻社會中。我強烈感覺到，無論我做甚麼的背後，也一定要有這項驅動力。」
I remember when I
was just graduated and in my early twenties, I was very ignorant of the world
and didn’t know what my life purpose was.
On the contrary, growing up in such a spiritual community, Shakti who
just graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in English literature already knew how
to live her life. ‘Many of my American
classmates have already started to develop their careers, whereas, my focus is
to help others and serve society. I feel
very strongly that whatever I decide to do must have that driving purpose.’
Shakti個子雖小，夢想卻大：「世界上很多人也迷失於物質社會中，他們賺錢只為了要過自己渴望的舒適生活。他們在開派對狂歡，沉溺於瞬間的享樂中。當然，追求物質成功並沒有任何問題，而且每個人也需要維持生計。但若只要為了這個目的而生存，卻讓我感到十分空虛。即使有些人似乎擁有『所有東西』也並不滿足。實在要多謝我的成長環境，令我知道生命背後有更大的意義。再者，我有的是Amma，因此我不需要這種享樂已能獲得與他們不同的『High』，我的夢想是服務世界。」
Though Shakti was
small, she had a big dream, ‘People in the world have no focus, they are caught
up in the materialistic world. They earn
money just to have the lifestyles that they want. They’re partying, living for pleasure. There is nothing wrong with wanting material
success and of course everyone needs to earn a living. However, living only for that end seems empty. Even people with “everything” can feel
dissatisfied. Thanks to my upbringing, I
am more aware of a greater purpose of life.
And I have Amma. So I don’t need that. It is a different “High”. My dream is to serve the world.’
其實在Amma印度的Ashram裡，Shakti亦獲得不少鍛鍊意志的機會。例如她的Seva（Selfless Service，無私服務，每個訪客也被要求在Ashram裡每天擔任兩個小時義務工作）是在西餐廳廚房裡弄早餐，看似簡單的工作，卻包含了不少重要課堂。她側側頭，從回憶裡翻出一個例子說：「某天早上，竟然有二十個學生（Ashram裡也有Amma所開辦的大學之學生宿舍）同一時間點了烘多士！他們未必會明白我們只是訪客，不是職業廚師，故我當時壓力十分大。」她燦爛地笑著，就像想通了一件事地說：「不過我一直緊記著Amma的教誨，也想起了Amma在節日時也長時間地向群眾派發食物，並確保每個訪客均已獲得食物，她自己才會進食。因此我當時學會只去看每一個人也有的神性一面，並明白到這些學生的出現是要來訓練我的耐性！」
In fact, there were
many mental training opportunities for Shakti in the ashram. For example, her Seva (ie. Selfless service, each visitor is asked to
volunteer for two hours a day) was making breakfast in the western canteen. It looks like an easy job, but there are many
lessons behind. She cocked her
head and got an example from her memories, ‘On one morning, there were 20
students (there are hostels in the ashram which accommodate students from
Amma’s university nearby) who ordered toast at the same time! They didn’t
understand that we were just visitors, not professional chefs, so it was a very
stressful situation at that time.’ She was smiling brightly and then she told
me her realization, ‘I always try to remember Amma’s teachings and thought of
Amma serving food to the public every week, making sure each and every visitor
has a plate before she will touch her own food.
So I learnt to see the divinity of everyone and I realized that all the
students were sent to train my patience!’
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Shakti其中一項Seva就是在西餐廳裡弄早餐。One of the seva Shakti had was to make
breakfast in the Western café.
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此外，她在下午時也有另一項Seva，就是向希望拿取Amma擁抱的訪客派籌。依我所見，及不時聽到同伴埋怨派籌者不近人情，我早已知道這是一項甚具挑戰的工作，因為這人需要處理來自全球不同國家的人之需要。Shakti說：「十五或二十年前，Ashram這裡訪客沒現在多，我是小孩時便可以一星期獲得兩次擁抱（現在最多只能一星期一次），當時也沒有派籌這回事。所有東西也在轉變中。有時，人們很難去接受新的一套事物。人們不明白，新的制度也是為了所有人著想。試幻想，這數以千計的人同一時間來見Amma希望獲得擁抱，如果他們一同去排隊，那將是多麼混亂。我需要明白，也需要有慈悲心。但同時我也需要有很清晰及明確的判斷力。」
She got another
seva in the afternoon, distributing token to visitors who wanted to get a hug
from Amma. As I saw and sometimes heard
complaining from my friends about the token person, I knew it was quite a
challenging job, because the person had to deal with different needs from
people all over the world. Shakti said,
‘15 or 20 years ago, here were much fewer people and when I was a child I got
hugs twice a day (now it is usually once a week). We didn’t even have tokens in the old days. Everything changes. Sometimes people have difficulty adjusting to
the new system. People don’t understand
that this system is in place for their benefit.
Imagine if the thousands of
people that come to see Amma all tried to queue at the same time. It would be chaos. I have to understand, be compassionate. But I also have to have firm discrimination.’
我相信她在擔任這Seva時，一定有遇上不少難以處理的情況。她點頭並說：「如果有人很傷心，我會告訴他們可在台上坐（近Amma）。即使如此，人們也可以非常不高興。我不喜歡爭拗，所以我會退後一步，不把事情放在心上，也不會被冒犯。當人們遷怒於我時，我大抵上也明白，這是源於他們自己的挫折感。我也有權選擇不把事情放在心上。他們有足夠理據嗎？我會運用我的判斷力。我會細心傾聽他們的故事，嘗試用慈悲心，及賦予他們愛。Amma是我的模範，她從來不反擊，只會回應，她對來找她的每個人就只有愛和慈悲心。」
I believed there
were many occasions that she had to deal with difficult visitors. She nodded and said, ‘If someone is really
sad, I tell them they can sit on stage (near Amma). Even then, people can get upset. I don’t like an argument, so I step back,
dont take it personally, try not to be offended. When people get angry with me, mostly I
understand, it is coming out from their own frustration. I still have a choice not to take it
personally. Do they have legitimate
reasons? Use my own discrimination. I
always listen to their stories. I try to
be compassionate and loving to them. Amma
is my example. She never reacts, only
responds. She has only love and
compassion for everyone that comes to her.
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我驚訝於小妮子能這般成熟及能設身處地為他人著想！有多少機會我們能找到年青人能以慈悲心來回應困難的處境，特別是年青人通常是較為由自我（Ego）驅動的一群。忽然間，我對她另眼相看。在她那層祥和的氣氛下，我看到紮實的靈性理解和修煉。
She surprised me
there. Her willingness to step into
other’s shoes. It is not often, that we
find young people responding so compassionately to situations, especially since
we are more ego-driven in the younger years.
Immediately, there was another
shift in my feeling towards her, as I saw her in a newer light. That beneath all this aura of peace, was
sound spiritual understanding and practice.
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Shakti另一項Seva就是負責派發Amma的擁抱籌號，這項工作需要無比的耐心和慈悲心。Another Seva Shakti had was to distribute token for Amma’s hug, this
seva required lots of patience and compassion.
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Shakti then went on
to tell me about valuable life experiences and lessons she learnt while serving
on the mammoth US hugging tour that Amma undertakes every year.
她述說參與二零一一年美國擁抱團時發生的一件事件：「擁抱團有點像一個流動的馬戲團──包括一個頗大型的場地佈置，那通常需要數個小時來完成（擁抱團於每一個城市通常停留三天）。基於一些物流問題，我們需要在二十四小時內進行兩次的佈置，收拾，然後再佈置。紐約和波士頓兩個場地也不能在節目第一天便獲得過往的場地，因此我們需要在這兩個城市先在臨時場地進行佈置，然後再移往另一場地。我們於早上六時才由上一個城市到達，我們佈置了，做了一天的節目，到晚上約十一時，我們再次收拾，並移往下一個場地再進行佈置。可能在我們在到達前也有些埋怨，但當我們到達新場地後，我們就只是沉著應戰。你知道嘛？這次場地轉移的安排令我們更懂得欣賞新的場地。更大的空間！更光猛！而且我們未來數日也不用再收拾了。」
She recalled an incident
happening in the hugging tour in 2011, 'the tour is a bit like a traveling
circus – including a rather large setup that normally takes several
hours (the tour usually stops in one city for 3 days). Due to some logistical issues, we had to
twice set up, pack up, and then set up again in less than 24 hours. Both New York and Boston could not get their
regular venues for the first day of the programs. So they arranged for temporary locations just
for a day before returning to the other site.
Essentially, we arrived around 6am, having just got in the night before
from the previous city, and set up, and then around 11pm, we packed up, only to
have to set up again the following morning.
While we may have griped a little bit before getting there, once everyone
was there, we just buckled down to the work.
And you know what? It made us appreciate the second venue so much more. More space! More light! We don’t have to pack
up for another few days!'
苦中總有甜。如果一個人未曾領略苦楚，又怎能明白我們常常把所有東西視為理所當然。就如Shakti所說：「多希望我們能在世界中生活時常保持這種態度。人們通常喜歡投訴，但事實上我們是難以置信地幸運。樂觀是一項選擇，而樂觀則使生命變得更甜蜜。」
There is always
some sweet in the bitter. If one has
not met any adversity, how could you know that you were taking everything
you had for granted. Just like Shakti
said, 'If only we kept that attitude when living in the world. People like to complain but really we are
incredibly lucky. Optimism is a choice,
and it makes life much sweeter.'
擁抱團不僅為她的生命注入樂觀的態度，但也能挑戰每個人認知的尺度。大部份人也不會特別享受長時間工作、沒有空閒時間及乘搭長途巴士。但擁抱團的義工卻以他們的高能量及愛心聞名。何解呢？Shakti解釋：「因為與Amma一起參與擁抱團的義工吸收了她永不言倦的模範精神。」
Tour not only
brought optimism to her life, but also challenges everyone's perceived
limitations. Most people would probably consider working
long hours with little leisure time and lengthy bus trips not particularly
enjoyable. But volunteers in the hugging tour were famous
for their high energy and loving attitude, so why? Shakti explained, 'Instead
the people traveling with Amma absorb her indefatigable
example.'
Shakti相信，擁抱團的經驗為她的修行道路帶來了不同，她說：「擁抱團能動搖你整套觀念。通常具挑戰性的處境也變得無關緊要。它給予我一個與來自界各地不同人合作的機會，他們的背景、經驗和性格也大為迴異。隨著時間流逝，你會被迫去承認及改善你的缺點，你也會對與你工作方式有不同的人有更佳了解。我們不單只克服了分歧，更培養出對追求同一服務理想的興趣之真正緊密合作。當所有人也全心全意時，能達到的東西實在是令人多麼驚訝。
Shakti believed
that the hugging tour experiences made a difference on her spiritual path, she
said, 'Tour shifts your whole perspective.
Normally challenging situations become immaterial. It
gives me an opportunity to work with all different kinds of people – from all
over the world, with vastly different backgrounds, and experiences, and
personalities. Over time you are forced
to recognize and change your own flaws and better understand people who work
differently from you. We not only
overcome differences, but also develop real closeness in the interest of
pursuing a common goal of service. It’s
amazing what you can accomplish when everyone is dedicated and willing.'
既然從未出世前已認識Amma，二十多年的生活亦一直與修行息息相關，Shakti會否想過倒不如直接成為印度Ashram裡的住客又或Renuniciate（放棄世俗生活，於廟宇或Ashram裡生活者，有如佛教中出家的尼姑／僧侶）？她雖然年輕，卻十分清楚應如何走她的人生路：「如果能接近Amma，我會很開心，我不是一名放棄世俗的出家人，我知道我的生命應該以外面的世界為基地，但我希望我永遠不會受其束縛。」看到我欲言又止，打算追問她畢業後的大計，她意會了，並眨眨眼說：「我只想活在當下。」
Since Shakti had
known Amma even before she was born and she is closely linked to spirituality
throughout this 23 years of life, I wondered if she wanted to become a long
term resident or a renunciate in the ashram.
Although she was young, she knew her path very well, ‘I would be happy
if I could just be close to Amma. I am
not a renunicate, my life is based in the world, but I hope never to become
attached to it.' I was going to ask about her plan after graduation, but didn’t
on a second thought. She got it and
blinked at me, ‘I just want to live in present moment.’
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Ashram裡飼養了一頭神聖的大象，她平易近人，最喜歡從訪客手上拿香蕉吃。A holy elephant was kept in the Ashram, she was
very friendly and used to take banana from visitor’s hand.
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我刻下心想，如果世上所有年青人也知道自己人生的意義，並努力追求自己的夢想，那這個世界將會有一番多麼清新和可愛的景象！
I thought at that
time, if all the youngsters knew even a twinkling of their life purpose and
actively pursued their dreams, how refreshing and how kind this world would be!
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